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Oct 11, 2010

The final introduction to Hipstering

This will be my last introductory post. I have made you aware of many key attributes hipsters have, but do not be mislead. Most hipsters are not on the far right of the spectrum or the left. They are in fact toned down hipsters. They might be exceedingly pretentious, but possess none of the other qualities. They might dress like Mystery but be completely normal. But most most are just there. They are not so obvious to pick off. So I caution you, do not disregard the young or lower level hipsters. Be aware they exist and are the majority of the population. One of them could rise up one day and we must be vigilant.
They're not so obvious in this picture are they? However hard it is for a hipster to "blend in" they do it on occasion. Recognize the signs. October is hipster awareness month.

Getting to know "the pretentious"

Yes all hipsters believe they are better than you. Whether this stems from insecurity or arrogance it is in fact a solid foundation of the culture. Within their tribe hipsters know they are the Gods of Olympus. He has it, every quality we've gone over. I was building you guys up to this. But what is that? A mistake?!
Corona instead of Pabst?! Questionable hipster indeed. He does however have a commanding presence of hipster. He in my opinion will be the inaugural "fuckin hipster". Corona beers, watch it my friends. This may be the new hipster beverage.

Getting to know "the style"

Hipsters do follow a code of rules. They might not even realize they do but it's true. Like a fight club on PBS their rules are unwritten but easy to notice. 
1. Never admit to being a hipster. 
2. Wear peculiar clothing but be "oblivious" to this fact, perhaps stemming from the wizard/muggle dynamic in Harry Potter.
3. Scour every resource you have to find a band before any of your friends know about it. You heard it first, and you're done with it already. You've experienced the music. You've lived it, you've laughed and drank coffee to it. You sir, lay claim to the music. 

Getting to know "the thought process"

Firstly, all hipsters believe they are insightful and in touch with the world. More than you will ever know. Secondly, they will never admit this. They listen to music that hasn't even been created.

Getting to know "the look"

So let's face it. Hipsters are a plague. Every generation goes through a sub culture of people who secede within themselves when they reach those teenage years. There has been goths, emos, and most recently Hipsters. One of the most important elements of a hipster is, "the look". Take notice of this. The obvious carelessness. There is a camera in my face? Maybe if it was a polaroid I'd acknowledge it. 

The Prototypical Hipster

So I thought I would start off my first post by giving you guys a basis. A rough guideline of the basic hipster. Their thoughts feelings, their "style". Here's a photo I came across that will be our ruler. A "fuckin hipster" requires a vote of at least 20 yes's in the comments. It must be +20 at the time I evaluate it. Eventually I'll make a voting gadget and if they reach "fuckin hipster" status I'll reload them with the stamp. If you find any hipsters doing their thing and think the pic is worthy. Shoot it my way.